I was sleeping this morning, not sleeping, but that kind of sleep where you know you’re awake but you’d rather lay there with your eyes closed, and think; kind of sleeping. Well, I was ‘sleeping’, I started to think. I’m lost. In my life, I used to know who I was, who I wanted to be, I used to know my friends like the backs of my hands, now I barely have friends, and the ones I do, I don’t trust very much. I used to think I lost myself, like I didn’t know what to do anymore, like the only thing i could do right was die. Then I realised, this is MY life. I shouldn’t let other people influence it. I should make mistakes, and if people judge me for it, then it’s their problem not mine. I need to stop being awkward and shy, I need to put myself out there, not in a sexual way, but most people don’t know me. I need to stop existing, I need to start living. I need to take chances, I need to take the jump and stop hoping for someone else to catch me. I need to depend on myself, and only myself, because in the end, all i have is myself. You can either live a bland, boring life, or make it exciting and different. I need to stop trying to find myself, I’m growing up, I’m changing… It’s more like I need to create myself. I think it’s time for me to be happy again.
(Source: this-one-is-for-you-and-me)
